Happy Holidays!

ERIK UPDATE
      Erik has started his physical therapy and is making some progress.   The PT suggested that we walk with him with a Hula Hoop so we tried, and it's making him able to balance on his own without leaning into you. Here's a video of him doing it. Just in case the video doesn't show up....as seems to be happening with blogger lately.

  It's hard to have a 2 year who can't walk, everyone treats him like a fragile little baby.  I took him to school today for a couple hours since he will start in February and the children kept calling him "Teacher Becky's Baby"  and they would say things like "Wow Teacher Becky your baby talks so good!" to which he would answer "I not a baby!"...and crawl away.....which only reinforced to the preschoolers that he IS a baby.  Going to be school is likely going to be a bit tough for him.  He did work VERY hard on standing at school today, I could tell he was trying so hard to hide his non-walking.  He knows he should be walking, and perhaps the peer pressure at school is exactly what he needs to motivate him.
     Here's a picture of him before the other children arrived so happy to be "at Mommas cool"

           
    Taking him to school this morning was tough for me, it's my school, and I have to say it's the best damn preschool I've ever seen.  Not to brag, but we are awesome and we work very hard to make sure children are gaining the experiences they need to learn and grow at the pace they are ready for, but I still felt like I was throwing my child to the wolves this morning (and I was with him!). To all you parents who have ever walked away from a crying child as your dropped them off at school.....more power to you.  Erik was thrilled to go, and I didn't have to say goodbye, and I still wanted to scoop him up in my arms and beg him to stay little and cuddly forever. 
     That craving for another child has begun.....but really how realistic is that?  I'm FORTY-TWO! I doubt that will happen, but there is certainly a piece of me that would love another baby....and another piece of me that smacks me in the head every time I consider it. 
     
SURGERY UPDATE
      I still have 6 pounds to lose....damn Halloween, damn Thanksgiving, damn every single day.  I find it such a struggle to walk by anything without popping it in my mouth.  SO, I still have 6 pounds to lose, next check up is Jan. 26....SURELY by then I can be down! 
     I work for a wonderful company who has just started a wellness program and I am on the committee so I must set a good example. I've been walking everyday and using the "imapmywalk" app which tells me exactly how far I've gone, how many calories I've burned and then sends me an e-mail each week with my progress.  I walked 7.35 miles this week.....WOO HOO!! Thank you PACCC for allowing me to walk during the day and encouraging me to do so!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS
I can't believe Christmas is almost here. It feels like just yesterday Erik was an infant. I thought time went by fast before I had a child, but now it seems to be moving at light speed and I want it to stop!!  Here is our family portrait for the year.  Doesn't Erik look so happy?  It's better than the scrunched up "CHEESE" face he makes for the pictures I take of him, too bad he couldn't have looked a little happier.  The only reason he looks happy in the second one of him is because the photographer let him have a book.  In all the other photos he was yelling...ALL DONE!!
See how he's leaving back a little (he was sitting on a stool) as soon as she snapped the picture he fell over backwards and smacked his head on the floor.  Happy Day.

Pushing

Hmmmmm....crazy blogger, sorry for the multiple postings. Here's the video I was trying to put into the other page.
He's gotten much better at pushing his toy, however he is still easily distracted especially stopping to sing along to the trains music.

28 months

It's been hard posting things from my computer, for some reason it just won't work. So.....from my phone will have to do!
Erik is 28 months old today, so big, and yet so little all at the same time. On Saturday he and I were playing cars when he looked up at me and said "I love you"....it was the first time, unsolicited that he did it...I almost melted. It makes all the emotional meltdowns ( that happen every ten minutes) worth it.
His walking is......well, pushing. He has his first PT appointment this week so hopefully we'll see some improvement soon! For now, his pushing pushes onward!



I have no idea why this video didn't show up the first round...hopefully it does now!

Happy Halloween!

I at least have to put a picture up, even though it's late! Princess Presto and Super Why




And here's those damn cake pops I'm never ever making again......but they sure were delicious!



Erik still has never been truck or treating, he's content to hand out candy with Mom.



If you look closely he's eating his dinner at the table.
Hope your Halloween was great!


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27 Months

     I completely missed 26 months, we were on vacation in Oklahoma and honestly I have not taken that long of a vacation in years and I am just now (almost a month later) getting back to my normal life.
     Erik is doing SO much better!  He is beginning to stand alone and voila.....walk!!!!!!  Well, not really walking, but pushing a toy, alone, and standing on his legs.  Of course he did this for the first time on the day I met with his case working from Early Start to get the PT going. Isn't that how it always works?  See?  He gets a couple steps in!

      Erik is a two year old, in every sense of the word.  He goes from joy to screaming in a second.  From loving to hitting in the next second, and from eating everything one day to eating nothing the next, like every other 2 year old on the planet.  I get weary of explaining to my mother (don't worry she's not online she can't ready this) when she complains to me EVERYDAY about how many times he did something over and over, that this is how 2 year olds process information and learn.  But the complaints don't end...I have to remind myself that she's old and tired and he can be loud and whiney - but I do get tired of defending his normal 2 year old behavior.

       Our Oklahoma vacation was LOVELY and it was so good to see all those great cousins, siblings and parents! How I wish we lived closer....but man oh man do I love the California weather. I was also concerned that while in Oklahoma veggies and fruit were scarce...I love you California.   While there my stepbrother Mark took this nice picture of our family. Lucky I had JUST had my hair done! ;)

And then he took this one, that melts my heart.....because Erik looks much older than I want him to be.

Driving to OK was everything I imagined it to be, we did our best to throw some fun things in each day so Erik wouldn't go crazy and so the grown ups wouldn't kill each other.  The first night (or maybe the second I really don't remember at this point). We stopped in Laughlin Nevada.  I'd never been there - I had no idea it was a very very tiny Vegas wanna be with a bit of scary Reno vibe. Erik loved the suite we were given (so did we it was huge!)

It had really awesome windows.  The doorman however was not thrilled with our luggage (Aunt Vera I took this picture specifically for you....this was for 4 people and included all our food!) it was LOTS!

We found things to do all along the way! But the best was seeing family we hadn't seen in years.  This is my Mom and her Aunt Bernie....she looks just like my Grandma Carole, they have the same voice...It was nice to see her and made me miss my grandma.

Erik being able to spend time with his cousins was the best thing of all.....although a couple times he did say "too many tousins!"

and there's two missing!  It's impossible to get everyone together at the same time, but we tried our best.

All in all it was a fabulous time...coming home I was scared to go to my weigh in - remember I had 10 pounds to lose before my next meeting with my surgeon (on the 2nd of November). I knew going into that meeting I hadn't lost it, I was just praying I hadn't gained any sitting on my ass driving for days and loving life at every Cracker Barrel along the way. Cracker Barrel PLEASE come to California!

I lost 1 pound....and I was pretty proud for not gaining weight, so I now have until the 16th of December to lose 10 pounds........I'm back to my normal routine now....hello vegetables.  I miss you Sonic, Taco Bueno, Chelinos and Ted's...I am grateful you are in Oklahoma and can't tempt me here!

Now, if I can just get rid of the Halloween Candy!

A diagnosis! FINALLY

   Well, today was Erik's first appointment with the OT and PT.  He was his usual charming, loud self.  Proclaiming when they approached his feet "No thank you! and Almost done?" When the physical therapist was done manipulating his feet he looked up at him and said "I need my stroller, I go back home now".  The PT - whose name was Tom (and who Erik called Uncle Tom - he does have an Uncle Tom, whom he really likes), gave him a mat and some toys and Erik showed all his crawling and standing skills.
After an hour of tests and observations we finally have a diagnosis...and here, off his medical charts it is. Mild or benign hypotonia.
Mild or benign hypotonia is often diagnosed by physical and occupational therapists through a series of exercises designed to assess developmental progress, or observation of physical interactions. Since a hypotonic child has difficulty deciphering his spatial location, he may have some recognizable coping mechanisms, such as locking the knees while attempting to walk. A common sign of low-tone infants is a tendency to observe the physical activity of those around them for a long time before attempting to imitate, due to frustration over early failures. Developmental delay can indicate hypotonia.

After talking with him for another hour this is basically a very mild form of floppy baby syndrome.  Usually pretty common with Down's Syndrome children.  There is no cure, there is no treatment except to allow him to progress at his own rate in really really supportive shoes which will train him to put his feet flat.

     He said this was not a cognitive delay, nor a nervous system delay like muscular dystrophy or CP - but rather a muscle sensation delay. 
    So all those early signs when he wouldn't put his legs down as a baby and would never put weight on his legs were the very first indicators of this.  Because most babies start putting weight on their legs, almost immediately they have all those months to build up the muscles in their thighs and especially their hips which down the road help them to walk.  Because Erik refused to put any weight on his legs until he was almost 14 months old, he's 14 months behind in building the muscles he needs to eventually walk.
      This made a lot of sense to me, he has to build the foundation muscles before the walking muscles can even do their job, babies need to stand up on parents laps for 6 months before they even have the capability to push up and crawl, no wonder he didn't crawl until he was 16 months old!
     Tom the PT said he sees children with mild cases like this all the time, and they eventually catch up - although sometimes it takes a LONG time, and we can't push them or they will skip steps (in building muscle) and be weaker later on.  It totally reminds me of the parents I see in my preschool who want me to push their child into academics and writing before they've mastered the skill of playing and interacting with others.  Playing helps them build the foundation that everything else stands up on. With play you learn to problem solve, you can't figure out your math homework if you don't have the problem solving skills.  I spend my days defending play and begging parents not to push their children into academics and organized sports before they've worked out the groundwork to build those things on.  This is the same, only physically.  We can't force him to walk if the hips muscles aren't developed enough.  They only develop by allowing him to cruise up and down the furniture over and over until his legs tell him they are ready to take a step.
       He also informed me that he would do fine playing sports for fun as a teenager but would likely never be a star athlete.  However after an hour with him answering questions with questions i.e Tom: Erik can you stand up please? Erik: Or crawl? Or sit? Or Dance?.  Tom: Erik I need to look at your ankles please. Erik: Or a book, or my Mommy or check your e-mail?  He thought a career as a lawyer or politician would be right up Erik's ally.  When he asked Erik what he liked to do Erik responded "Play the plinano wif Mommy". 
     Tom thought that was interesting since gross motor benign hypotonia really only has large motor delays - most of these children are excellent with their fine motor skills.  It's true Erik's drawings are already representational and he loves to play the "plinano" and eat rice one small grain at a time (or flick it one grain at a time through the dinging room).
     So, this we can handle - he won't crawl to college, we may have to modify preschool a bit as he will likely crawl in there, but he will be fine with time.
     The hardest part for me is not shaving months off his age at the playground (which I am ashamed to say I almost always do), so I don't have to endure the questions and judgment of the others "2 years old and not walking??  "Wow he talks so well, I wonder whats wrong with his legs?"   Seriously it's so much easier to say he's 14 months old. He's a HUGE 14 month old, but his Momma's a big girl so it tends to be more believable.
      
     

8 years

Today, Mike and I have been married for 8 years.  On this day 8 years we wed, in front of two great friends and a judge in the courthouse in Las Vegas.
Why?
Because the December wedding that we had planned was beginning to be a pain to plan around everyone else's schedule, we'd already changed our wedding date 3 times...and honestly I felt like we'd have to change it again and I was OVER it.  Bottom line was I wanted to be married to Mike, whether in a big white wedding, or the courthouse in Las Vegas.  So in Vegas we wed!

This picture was taken moments before we were married and is the only picture of the day, as our friend who was taking the pictures left his camera in the last cab of the night.

We eventually did have that big white wedding about three months later, so we can't let the day go buy without a few pictures from that!

This buoy now hangs above our bed.  I love it.

My father playing "Sea Captain!"

It was REALLY REALLY chilly here!

The entire wedding!

The Parents

The Rings

The Wedding Party

Mike and his Dad George

Becky, Shanan and Madi - My little Disneyland inspired flower girl, who is now a high school girl.  Wow! Time sure flies by!

Steve and Becky

Yes I have a tattoo. I forget it because I typically don't see my back, except in pictures like this.  It makes me feel a bit rebellious to have a tattoo.....sometimes a good girl needs a bit of rebellion!

Happy Anniversary my Sweet Mikey!  I love you more than life!

Closer!

I met today with the psychiatrist.  I didn't realize that the paperwork before the appointment would be SO involved and SO detailed.  They needed to know everything about me, including the religion I was brought up in. I don't know why that would have any bearing on my surgery but OK.
The psychiatrist was a lovely man, who I felt from the second he opened the door was very "Mormon Bishop like".  Once I got into the office and saw the BA and MA on his walls from BYU and The University of Utah I knew I was in for an interesting conversation.  (Spoiler alert: Current active LDS could be offended by my story, please note this is MY issue and no offense is intended)
He took a moment to read through my paperwork, and paused at the "Recovering LDS" that I had written in the "religion" space.  He took a long pause as if trying to figure out how to approach me and why I had written that. 
He also saw that I had gone to Ricks (Now BYU Idaho) and for some odd reason spent 18 months in Guatemala and he fiured things out pretty quickly.  One box said "Have you ever had a panic attack" I checked the "maybe" box.  He described the symptoms and then asked me if I'd like to change my answer to yes or no.  I changed it to yes and he said "I don't need any details but where were you when you had one?" I told him I'd had 2 in my life.  One in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) and one in the temple.  Both of them were dismissed by MTC and Temple health workers as "lack of food"...which really is ironic don't you think?  I may have a lot of things, lack of food is typically not one of them."  Hmmm........perhaps it was a sign of things to come for me.
Anyway, he was lovely and passed me onto the surgeon with no red flags (Whew! I'm not TOO crazy), then it was on downstairs to Doogie Houser MD.
The surgeon (head of the department no less) is about 14.  I don't think he's old enough to grow facial hair, I just have to believe he's so young he's up on all the good stuff!
He did a quick exam and said I only have 10 more pounds to lose and then I'm cleared for surgery....woo hoo!!!  Then he talked me out of the lap band and into the gastric sleeve.

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lVNmnpdo7zQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>iframe>

So, I have another appointment mid-October and then we set a surgery date!  Woo Hoo!!!
Becky

25 Months

I know you want to ask.......no, he's NOT walking yet!  He did have his 24 month check this week which he could have taken himself to.  Every time the Dr. answered a question Erik answered it.

E - Hi Docto Wosen (Dr. Rosen)
Dr; Hi Erik, How are you?
E - Super Job!

She turns to me and says "Oh he's so cute and such a vocabulary at his age!" and then she says "Any concerns?" 
REALLY???????  This is why Doctor's have a bad rap....she's had COUNTLESS conversations and e-mails with me about his walking and she turns to me and says any concerns?  I wanted to flick her in the forehead with a big DUH and say...HE ISN'T WALKING AND HE'S 2!!!!!!!!  I'M CONCERNED!!  She even acted surprised when I reminded her about the non-walking thing.  Seriously Doctors, I know you have a lot of patients, but come on, remember the big things!

She took a long look at his legs, ran an MRI and pronounced him "perfect" and than he "just doesn't feel like walking yet". I insisted on a PT consult.  Luckily I got it.  Funny thing, the Dr. that I pay 30.00 to each time I see could really care less if he's walking or not. But Early Start here in San Jose, a non-profit FREE service for children under 36 months had 15 pages of paperwork waiting for me withing a couple hours of my initial phone call to them and they are already working things up for an environmental observation. I think I know who'd I rather work with.

In all other aspects beyond his gross motor skills he's well advanced, he can draw a circle, a line, recognize all the letters of the alphabet and numbers to 20.  He knows all his colors and told the Dr his favorite was "cacamarine" (Aquamarine).   He's a funny little guy, I asked him tonight when I was putting him to bed if he was my little baby and he said "Nope, I'm just a little pirate".  No idea where he gets this stuff.

He's also crazy 2 years old, he wears his emotions on his arms and can go from screaming tantrum throwing fit to loving kisses in a matter of seconds, as all toddler's do.

He's up to 33 pounds and 35 inches in height.  93rd percentile.  Whew!  Seriously I can't carry this kid anymore.

The tantrum Two's!

Wow, Erik had an epic tantrum tonight. It lasted for one hour. I have no idea what even brought it on, one minute he was fine, the next his head was spinning in circles and I would not have been surprised to see horns sprout from his head.
Talk about wailing and gnashing of teeth, it was all I could do to keep my extremities out of the way of his mouth.
I can certainly see how parents would fall into the bedtime trap of allowing children to do whatever they want just to make the screaming stop. I was about to strike any bargain he could come up with just to get him to stop screeching!
He finally flipped a switch and as quickly as the tantrum started, it ended. He was back to singing "Old Macdonald" with his choice of "a wall" or a "door" as things on his farm, and adding "sartruse" (chartruse) and "cacamarine" (aquamarine) to his list of favorite colors.......crazy kid!
On the diet front I've had to go for many tests, the most recent being one for sleep apnea. I stop breathing 18 times an hour, that's 126 chances a night that I could have a heart attack or stroke. YIKES!
The Dr. gave me a C-Flex machine. It's horrible. Not as horrible as dying, but horrible to sleep with and be comfortable. I'm really struggling to use it all night. I haven't made it a whole night yet. It's really hard to get used to. And so super unsexy. Here's Mike modeling it for you. Don't you think it brings out his lovely blue eyes?






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Two

Erik is now two, I thought for sure he'd be walking. Nope. He really doesn't care about walking. Some days I care, some days I don't. Everyone around me sure has an opinion though!
He's stuck in a weird place where his emotions are definitely two, his vocabulary is about four, and his legs are back at about 9 months.
He's in this new stage where when things don't go his way he immediately tries to bite, doesnt matter if its a table, a person or a toy. We've obviously been saying "Don't bite me!" often because now he yells BITE ME! just before he bites something....so we have to turn away and giggle at that. At least we get a warning now! One of my biggest fears as a preschool teacher was that my kid would be " the biter", thank goodness he doesn't go to daycare! I've started saying "kisses not bites", we'll see how that goes.
He also now answers every question we ask him with a guessing game a la (insert favorite game show host here). Erik, do you have a poop? " it's not a pee pee, it's not an accident, it's not pajamas". Oh look Erik there's a dog! " it's not a cat, it's not a lion, it's not a door". Imagine this is response to EVERYTHING we say. It's time to go to bed. "it's not time to eat, it's not time to play, it's not time for singing songs"........and repeat, all day. So interesting how he is classifying things by what they are NOT. He even does it with people, rotating his favorites. Say good night to Nana. " not to Jaymee, not to Grandma C, not to Papa and Mimi".......just say goodnight all ready!
Between the biting and the classifying it's like living with a Vampire Dr. Suess!
I'm interested to hear what the Dr will say at his 2 year check up when I tell her he STILL isn't walking. I'm sure Erik will let her know,"not running, not jumping, not swimming........"
Took these pictures of him today. In the second one he seems to be thinking about climbing the submarine!!






I'll let you know what the Dr cones up with since she swore he'd be walking by two.




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Horrible Parents 101

Eriks birthday is tomorrow. We are going to rude Thomas the Train....yippee! (yawn!)
Tonight we decided to give him a couple little presents and his favorite dessert. Flan, homemade by me (and Jell-0).
I even thought it would be fun to put candles in it. I KNEW he was too young for candles, should have listened to myself.
Now I have a child who spent the evening chanting, no flan, no birthday!! What was I thinking?
Tomorrow should be great as long as we hid all candles and no one sings Happy Birthday!

Are you kidding me?

This week at Safeway I ran into an alumni parent that I hadn't seen in a while but who is a reader of my blog and she was mentioning her support of my weight loss endeavors and how appalling some people can act. It was fun to chat with her and as I was leaving the aisle ( which had gotten very crowded ) I had to squeeze by several other carts and as another woman was trying to come down the aisle I motioned that I was coming out and said, "one second and I'll be out", her response......."great, and thanks for leaving some food for the rest of us!"
WHAT???
I had to stop and replay what she said in my head...... Did she just? YES SHE DID!!!!
I of course found my friend and told her what happened..... We stalked the aisles together for a while looking for her, but what was I going to say if we found her?
My friend suggested I need a good come back when this happens (since it seems to happen often!)
What would you say? Help me think of something clever, and stinging all at the same time! Come on people, help a fat girl out!
Until I hear from you the perfect line I will retreat to my happy place.

Hermit Crab Homicide

First a shout out to my sister in law Regina for the title!
Erik loves crabs, or "trabs" as he calls them. I was suckered into the Hermit crab kiosk at the mall and bought him a couple last week, 60 bucks including the accessories. New shells, sand and climbing pole, 40 bucks. Hermit Crabs for Dummies 8 bucks.
100 bucks in and we are down one crab already. Looks like an attack.
I think I need to read the book again, obviously the skimming I did the first time wasn't good enough, because I'm still a hermit crab dummy. Thank goodness I have Mom! We are the blind leading the blind.
Nothing as sad as a toddler saying "dood bye Trabbie, dood bye.

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The Plan

Well, I've been working hard to eat what the final life stage is after the


surgery. It feels like a lot of food, and at the same time, man I'm missing

those carbs!

I'm allowed to have one starch at each meal and these are my choices,

1 piece of toasted bread, 1 half of a baked potato or 6 crackers. That's

it. I know, 3 meals a day, it's easy to figure out what goes where.

I'm eating lots of fish and chicken. I'm now drinking 64oz of water a day,

and spending some extra special time in the bathroom.

Here's the whole meal plan, the same EVERY SINGLE DAY. I think this

is why I have failed at every other diet before..I like variety, I also adore carbs. It's not happening anymore.....I'm in
mourning, for pasta, rice and muffins.



For Breakfast you get*You get to add one protein if your a woman over 5'7 (Thank you genes for letting me be tall!!!! - or if you're a man)




2 Proteins - 2oz of meat, eggs, cheese or beans*
1 fruit - fruit is fruit

1 starch - you saw that list above

1 milk - Lots of choice here...NOT! 8oz of milk OR 6oz yogurt

1 fat - butter, oil, mayo, salad dressing, avocado, peanut butter, cream

cheese or sour cream.



For Lunch *Again add for the tall ones and the males, here you can also add 1 more cup of veggies

3 Proteins

2 Vegetables

1 Starch

1 fruit

1 Fat



For Dinner *and again we thank the tall and testosterone genes here for an extra protein and an extra veggie.

3 proteins

2 vegetables

1 starch

1 milk

1 fat



And there you have it folks, the bariatrics diet for the rest of my life.

I can do it, with reminders. I wrote the plan in chalk on my fridge, and

then I took a picture of it with my phone to keep it on me at all times.  It's not the most professional, but it works as a cheat sheet.

 I

wish it was easier to shout DEFLATE! to my body, or stick myself with a pin

and "POP"....but in the end this will make me healthier. If it doesn't I'm

going to be one crabby lady!

Maybe you can try it and see if it works for you!  I'm two weeks in and down 8 pounds, and not starving (well except for pasta, bread.....).
And I apologize for the weird formatting in this post, my laptop is sick, and when I switched to the desktop to edit this, it did this.....I have no idea why (which is probably why my laptop is sick..because I just have no idea why).

23 Months

I wish I could tell you he's walking. Nope...... But he does talk like crazy. Tonight in Office Depot he announced, "I love my penis and balls!". Such a proud parenting moment for me.
Here's a little look at what he's up to lately.

The beginning of the process

     Today I went to the first of many appointments for the Lap Band Procedure.  It was a 5 hour appointment where we were given a BINDER with all the information we need to know before the surgery.  It was a lot of stuff!
     I was not prepared to feel so...loved and accepted.  Seriously, Doctor's and anything related to them are no fun when you're fat. I have been shamed, put down and humiliated over and over again, and I begin to prepare myself for that for each appointment I go to.  I was pleasantly surprised to be told that being overweight is not because I am lazy, or stupid or overeating constantly.  That it is a combination of my life, my mind, my genes, and my childhood (this seems to be the big one for everyone).  It was amazing to be one of the thinnest people in the room, that NEVER happens to me. I felt pretty!  It was nice to be catered to for once, to be treated like a person, not an annoyance.....to be treated like I deserved help from the doctors.  I love Kaiser......really I do, I have always been pleased with them, but today...to treat me (and all the others in the room) with so much dignity and respect, I am thrilled with them.
     I have broken a chair or two in my day (talk about humiliating - nothing worse), and to walk in and see this in a classroom where I always wonder if the folding chair is going to hold me, was refreshing.

Kaiser obviously owns these.......now to be completely inclusive, sprinkling them around all the offices, labs, waiting areas, would be awesome!

Here's the cliff's notes from my orientation today.
What I gain - My health, longer life, ability to do activities I can't now, shopping "off the rack" , increased fertility (we may be too late on the age front for this one, but hey...it's there).
What I have to do/give up.....FOREVER

•      Chew each bite 30 times
• no more drinking ANYTHING with a meal
• No more carbonated drinks (this will be the hardest for me)
• No caffeine - ACK!
• No alcohol (no problem!)
• And none of these foods.....again.
• Bagels, Biscuits, Bread
• Cereal - cold or hot
• Crackers (Saltines and Triscuts OK)
• Doughnuts (Just writing this makes me REALLY want one!)
• English Muffins (I eat one of these everyday for breakfast)
• French Toast
• Grits....ugh - no problem
• Muffins
• Pasta
• Oatmeal
• Pancakes
• Processed Snack Food
• Pastry
• Pita Bread
• Pretzels
• Rice
• Rice Cakes
• Rolls
• Stuffing
• Tortilla's
• Waffles
• Coconut
• Corn / Peas
• Gum
• Nuts/seeds
• Popcorn
• Cakes
• Candy
• Ice Cream
• Cookies
• Spicy Food
• Pizza

So I think that leaves chicken, fish and vegetables....I'll sure be fun to take to a restaurant!
Wow - and I need to start eliminating all these things yesterday.  My dear Mexican food, I will miss you so! Oh and Italian, you too!
I begin the journey today.  I'll never wear a bikini - but hopefully, a pair of jeans with a shirt tucked IN, is in my near future.
God help me.

Not No, but HELL NO!

My sweet baby, my adorable child has left the premises and been replaced with a tantrum throwing, NO! screaming brat!

Overnight, last night to be exact, he changed.  For the first time today he told me NO! With defiance in his eyes, and I swear if he could stand up on his own he would have stomped a foot for dramatic effect. It all started with a hat.  The hat in this picture to be exact. 

We went to the zoo, it was hot and sunny.  I made him wear the hat.  It's a lovely hat, but he hates all hats.....which would be fine if his skin wasn't translucent white, but this white boy must wear a hat at all times outside.  He took it off, I put it on, he took it off, I began to see the pattern and quickly did the teacher thing.  I got down on his level, told him in a firm (yet loving!) voice. "The sun is out, it will burn your skin without a hat, you must wear the hat". I put it back on his head, he looked at me angrily, yanked the hat off and yelled NO! And then he waited to see what I would do.  In my head I knew this was the moment my baby was gone.  He has now figured out the meaning, and power of the word NO! and there will be no more baby for me.  It was also the defining moment that I would make or break how he responded to future discipline.

I responded with "your choice is to wear the hat and see the animals, or not wear the hat and go home".  I then put the hat on him again, he threw it again and I said. "It looks like you're choosing to go home".  So we left (luckily we have passes and that's easy to do - not so easy at an expensive place), and I listened to a crying child wail "See yitto yams, see yitto yams!" (See little lambs!) all the way out.

As we head to the car the Mommy in me says Hey, now we can do the grocery shopping!, the teacher on the other shoulder says....don't push it, bad idea!  The Wal-Mart across the street and the mommy win!

Everything went well until Erik realized there is no tank with crabs and lobsters at Wal-Mart (we don't have many Wal-Marts here so most of our grocery stores DO have fish tanks) and he LOST it.  Yelling "Tabs Tabs!! and signing Crabs as fast as his little fingers could.

What could I do?  Seriously he was SCREAMING his head off.  I tried singing, I tried goldfish, cheese sticks, apple juice...everything in my cart was open and he was having none of it.  I was the lady in the store with the screaming child.  And I just had to let him scream. It was hell, toddler hell - I have now stepped into it's doors.

Yesterday he didn't have any tantrums, today he had 4. I will embrace the learning that is toddler hood, ignore the tantrums, and shop alone with all the other toddler mothers at nap time, and late night.

I'm gonna slap you

Today in Costco a woman judged me by what was in my cart.  She looked at me, the food in my cart, and called me fat.  In the check-out line, in front of everyone.
Seriously?  Did she really???
Yup.
I felt exactly like I did all those times in school when people made fun of me for being fat.  Funny how I defaulted right back into that!
As an adult I am always shocked by the nerve of some people.  But what could I do?  I couldn't bitch slap her in the middle of Costco, even though I REALLY wanted to. Like I've ever slapped ANYONE, I would have no idea how to begin that, but if there was ever someone I'd like to take outside, it was this lady.
But seriously lady, how did you get past security? 

Which is kind of a good segue into my next topic.   I'm getting the lap band.....I know, I know.  But seriously, I've tried every diet. I long to be thinner, I want to get on the floor with my child and hang out and I want to swing him in my lap at the park and fit in the swing. I was telling a friend the other night, I want to wear a bathing suit, that doesn't come with the old lady tummy hiding ruffle/skirt.  I want to buy something off the rack at Old Navy....it's the little things.

So, I've had one orientation, several more to go and then I get to meet the surgeon.  Should be an interesting journey, and I'll keep you informed all along the way.  And maybe, if karma loves me, I'll run into rude lady some day again, and have a little chat with her....outside.

Dad's Day

It's hard for me to be away from my family on special day's like today.  While I'm thankful that Erik has a set of grandparents close, it breaks my heart that my family is missing out on seeing him grow because we are far away..sigh.
So, we do what all good citizens of this century do, we blog about his accomplishments, skype with far away relatives, and send little video snippets of his life as often as we can.  As nice as that is, it still isn't the same as being there.
I missed my Daddy today. 
We chatted via phone, but I missed his big hugs.  However, I am glad that Erik was able to spend the day with his Daddy and Grandpa, in a low key hang out and play kind of way.

They played with toys....look at that 92 year old man on the floor digging for cars!

They took turns reading books, and giving instructions about reading books.

But most of all they hugged - Big three generation at a time, backward, grandpa initiated hugs

I hope you hugged a Dad today!

Sliding 101

Step One - Get your Mama to lift you onto the slide. Ignore her when she tells you to hang on.

Step Two - Flap your arms with excitement all the way down!!!

Step Three - Completely understand the joy that is sliding.....and then do it over and over and over some more.



22 Months

Erik is 22 months old today.........I know what your thinking, is he walking??  NO!!!  Seriously, why won't this kid walk?  There is a piece of me that's concerned, and another piece that sees the progress (he's cruising and walking holding onto furniture) he's made and knows.. (I know in my child development loving soul!) that he is fine...he's just a really really late walker.

I'm telling myself it's because he's working on his cognitive skills....which are seriously freaking me out.  Tonight I was giving him a bath and he starting telling me what the letters stand for.  I grabbed the camera, I had no idea he knew that stuff!  You would think I was using flashcards, or that damn..."Your baby can read!" program. I'm SO far from that...we read books LOTS and LOTS of books.  And that's it.  How does he figure this stuff out?

See for yourself, oh and please excuse the "penis and balls" section in the middle, his Nana taught him that, we probably don't help by laughing at it when he says it.  It takes a minute to get into and he misses a few letters, but I didn't know he could do that at all!




Being the teacher I am I was adamant that we start a goodnight routine from very early on, it started with two songs and a chat about the day and morphed into 10 songs, a sippy cup and some cuddles in bed, it went from 5 minutes to 20.  SO much for sticking to the routine.  Mike and Erik have a little routine as well, they say goodnight to many pictures in the house each night.  Since Erik's cousins all live in Oklahoma we want him to know them so we keep their pictures up everywhere.  And we say good night to them each night.  This little video shows that routine, it also shows what a huge klutz (Maguire curse) I am, halfway through the video I knock over a lamp....remember that swimming video where I fell during Erik's swim lessons? I obviously can't walk and film at the same time.



This 22 month old is hoot (and heavy as hell...come on Dude, WALK!) once we started our snuggling when I stopped filming he gave lots of kisses, and then patted my belly, laid his head on it and said..."Mama Bubble Belly.....aaahhhh".  
Well, kids are nothing if not honest!
Till next month,  when Erik WILL be walking, if I have to tie strings to his limbs and turn him into a marionette!

Horsey

Most children have a lovey or special item they are attached to. Something like a blanket or stuffed animal is pretty typical.  Erik's had a blanket since he was born, an extra piece of materiel left over from a nightgown my mother made me when I was pregnant.  He became attached right after my maternity leave when I went back to work. One day he was inconsolable so Mom wrapped him in my nightgown and ever since then he needed it. Here's a picture of that day.

  Luckily she had lots of materiel left over. so we can cut him off a piece whenever the current one gets nasty and smelly like so many children's blankets do.  The materiel is pink, with a Hawaiian print of big white flowers.  Not very boyish, we don't really take it out in public. As a person who encourages children to be who they want to be, I will allow it, if he asks for it when he's older, but I think he'll probably just want it to be his "at home blankie". 

He also has a "horsey" that I offered him one day after searching for hours and hours at the store for something I could give him that would replace my hair.  I was starting to go bald for him always needing to hold my hair and rub it on his face.  I had debated on a barbie, or a doll because they would have hair that felt like mine - but those items were quickly nixed by Mike. Guess he didn't want to add a barbie doll to the pink blankie.  We found a stuffed horse for $2.00 with a tail and mane made of real feeling hair.  Erik took to it immediately and my scalp felt so much better!!  I noticed that it took about 4 months of Erik sleeping with that horse and rubbing it's mane on his face several times a day for it to look like a crazy drug horse with dreadlocks.

Luckily one day at Target I found a whole stash and I bought them ALL!  I told the lady at the check out I needed them for a birthday party. 

I am now rationing them and when the current Horsey gets to the dreadlocks stage he is swapped out with a new one.  I wonder, is it really gross of me to save the dreadlocks horsey's?  Part of me really wants to save them.

Here's a dreadlocks headed horse with the pile of new ones I found, he's looking a little worse for wear, but very loved. 

If you happen to run across these little horsey's at Target, they run about $3.00, I'll pay you back if you snatch me up a few!  Erik doesn't care about the color, it's the hair he's after. 

oh GROSS!!

At school we are raising silkworms, the children love them.  They are a great project but also a pain, they eat boxes of mulberry leaves every day and mulberry leaves only grow on mulberry trees which aren't that plentiful, so it becomes another job for teachers just to feed them.
I've been stopping in on Saturdays to feed them and of course I had Erik with me.  I sat him at the table and took his picture with the worms.  He was enthralled with the "wormas" as he calls them.

So enthralled, that as soon as I turned away to get some leaves to feed them, he ate one. And tried to get another one in his mouth, but I wrestled it away from him.  I tried very hard to stay calm and not vomit on him because I was so disgusted.  He looked at me with a piece of worm in his mouth and sweetly said "worma's YUM Mama!" I told him we don't eat worms.  Then I called poison control and they laughed and laughed and said he'd be fine.
When I told my mother she laughed and laughed and told me I gave her a heart attack at about the same age when she left me playing outside (because you could do that in the 70's) for a few minutes, and when she came back I had pulled six snails out of their shells and eaten them. When she returned I also said, "Mama Yum!"  She didn't call poison control, but rushed me the 1/2 block down the street to Grandpa Joe, who laughed and laughed and assured her I'd be fine.

What have your toddlers eaten??

Little Dude with a Broadway Flair!

Erik's first word besides Dada and Mama was "Awesome".  Yesterday I asked him if he was a baby, he said "Nah" I asked if he was a boy, again "Nah".  Then what are you??  "A DUDE!!  He calls himself a DUDE, hilarious!!
My little surfer dude, who has a soft spot in his heart for Broadway shows....wonder where he gets that! He's working on do re mi.  As you can see here, he knows the last word of every phrase!
His walking is still non existent, however he is standing on his own (for long periods of time and ..wait for it....CRUISING!!
YE-HAW!!

FINALLY!!

He's done it a couple of times before, but I finally got it on video, I think walking IS in his future...FINALLY!

21 Months

Erik turned 21 months old today. I took this picture of him this afternoon in the sandbox, just before he ate a handful of sand and pronounced it "Yum" to my quick, "we don't eat sand".

I know what you're thinking, believe me I'm thinking it too. He's not walking yet.  He IS pulling up to a standing position so that's HUGE!! He doesn't do it very often, but he does it!

I read once that children at this age learn 5 words a day. I find that to be very true with Erik, today I said to no one in particular, "I wonder where Nana is"....Erik spotted her and said "There she is!!" It's crazy this exploding language.

His independence is exploding as well as he chooses to eat, or more often not eat. If he had his way he'd live on nothing but apple juice and ketchup.  He learned about ketchup a couple weeks ago and now he surveys his food (even breakfast) and then looks up with his big blue eyes and says kiss - up? (Ketchup!).  That independence also rears it's head at bedtime, when he protests that it's not time for bed, but he doesn't cry more than a couple minutes before we hear him talking himself to sleep.

His MeMe and Papa sent him this itty bitty pool that he LOVES.....I think it may hold an inch of water, he loves it.  Here's a little video of him moving those legs like crazy.  He possesses the ability to walk...........he just isn't in the mood yet!

Mama, Papa and Baby

My mother just bought this chair for Erik, my house is now reminiscent of The Three Little Bears.  A big chair for Daddy, a medium sized chair for Mommy and a wee little chair for the smallest bear........

This can't be happening!

It's only been one year between these two pictures.  I don't age this quickly, how can he?  It makes me sad and happy all at the same time to see him grow, but I miss that baby boy so.  Babies are addicting.....I may need another.  I am almost 42, this is likely impossible.......but oh that bald head!!!

And I really need to stop buying the vest diamond sweaters, his Christmas picture is the same as well.  Someone stop me. 

A Day in my Life

I love my job as a preschool teacher / director.  It cracks me up, I certainly don't do it for the money. Those kids are a real hoot and some of the things that come out of their mouths is priceless.
In honor of this being the Week of The Young Child I am devoting an entry to "a day in the life of a preschool teacher"

Arrive to school at 6:45 to set up the classroom and put out fires that may have started the night before (read; troubles)
7:00am Answer e-mails, fix snack and pour myself a big ol' Diet Coke to get through the day!
7:30am Open the doors - Bring on the kids!
From 7:30-9:30 The children play and can choose whatever activities they would like to do, or they can eat snack.  I check in with parents, help with activities and usually find myself hovering around the bathroom saying things like "Watch your penis!", "Aim for the water!" and "Did you wipe?".  I bet you don't say ANY of those in your job!
At 9:30 we begin the circle times, this is my favorite part of the day.  I love singing with children.  Today we had planned a field trip to walk to the grocery store that has a little Fruit and Veggie show thing and then the children would buy one piece of fruit and we would make an Ambrosia Salad when we returned to school.
During circle time I had to cover the following rules, rules that after years of field trips we have learned to state.
1. Stay with your teacher / partner - We use the "teachers are the bread and children are the peanut butter scenario"
2. No stepping on "un-pretty" flowers - this causes them to be so distracted!
3. Keep your clothes and shoes on your body.
4. If your partners hand is "sweaty and icky" you may hold their wrist.
5. Teachers have Kleenex if you need to pick your nose, please do not pick your nose while holding your friends hand

10:00 After everyone pees and finds their partner off we go!  I have the privilege of holding one child's hand and leading the pack.  Because I can't see, but only hear the conversations behind me, I begin laughing at what I hear.  The walk to the grocery store is about a 10 minute walk for a grown up.  For four teachers and 19 children it takes almost 40 minutes.
On the way I hear the following snippets as children talk about....anything.
       "I see a cigarette!! It's SOOOOO Nasty!"
       "What's Nasty?"
       "Oh that dog is HUGE!" Becky did you see it?  It was HUGE HUGE!
       "Are we there yet?"
       "My Dad slept on the couch last night"
       "My Dad sleeps on the couch every night"
       "AN ANT!!!"
At this point I turn around to say - "Please watch out for the man on the ladder, do not touch him, or his ladder"
        "Why not can we touch him?"
       "Hey guy why do you have a ladder?"         
        "Why can't we touch a ladder?  Are ladders bad?"
        "Are we there yet?"
        "An ice cream store!"
        "No, it's frozen yogurt"
        "Teacher BeEEECKY! That's Ice cream right?"  She says it's yogurt!"
        "When are we gonna get there?"

Finally we arrive to see the fruits and vegetable's sing!  We are excited to learn about healthy food choices.  I have noticed these singing fruits and vegetables before and just assumed they would sing about food right?  They are in a barn, along with a cow, a farmer and chickens.  I see people plant their kids in front of this scene while they shop and it lasts about five minutes.  I have not ever listened.
Lesson learned.
We planted the children in front of the "show" and prepped them to hear about all the wonderful food they could eat.  I pressed the button and the show began.  A five minute show that was written in rap form and about saying No to Drugs!
Seriously??  Obviously it was made in the 80's!
Well, we get our fruit and back to school we go....by now the children are tired and there isn't much conversation going on except for;
         "My feet are KILLING me!"
          "Can we take a bus?"
          "Can you carry me?"
          "I'm tired!"
And those same things over and over all the way back to school.  The child who keeps saying his feet are KILLING him is holding my hand.  I say "you sound like a complaining old man!"...his response..."well, I am almost 6!"
By the time we get back to school it's almost time for lunch.  I hurry to make a fruit salad and set up lunch.
Lunch is served family style, I spend the time convincing the children at my table that one bite of carrot will not kill them or make them vomit.  I also work very hard to make sure no one spills their milk, it is my goal to get through one lunch time where no one spills their milk.......it has never happened.
1:00pm after another round of "watch your penis so the pee will go in the toilet"and then it's naptime......AHHHHHH
Such angels when they are sleeping.
I spend the afternoon in the office working on paperwork and trying not to eat whatever is being prepared for afternoon snack.
Children are awesome, funny little creatures.  Spend some time with one this week and celebrate them!
Happy Week of The Young Child!!!

      

20 months

Erik is 20 months old as of yesterday.

He still doesn't walk.

Why?  I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of to encourage his walking skills.  He could care less. 

Since our 19 month report I can say that we have seen much progress!  He can now climb up and down on things, stand and hold himself up against furniture and do this thing he calls standing, but is more like a Yoga Triangle Pose.

I know he'll walk soon enough, please let it be before he turns 2!!  What kid doesn't walk before 2?

Mine, who can't walk, but can do phonics, has hundreds of words, and almost 100 signs.  He signs (Uncle Steve??  Reading this??) and speaks all day long, he loves signing so much he makes up his own signs if he doesn't know one. His favorite show next to Yo Gabba Gabba is "signing time"

But seriously the walking............well, here you go see for yourself his "standing" pose.  This was filmed yesterday at exactly 20 months old.

I'll hide it from his Dr, surely he'll walk into his 2 year appointment!

Crayons

Erik loves colors (and letters and numbers) so I decided since he can keep things mostly out of his mouth it was time to try crayons.  This is 4 minutes of pretty boring coloring, but the learning that is going on in his head as he makes the same marks over and over is awesome, and the educator in me just had to film and post it.

19 Months

Erik turned 19 months old today.  He still doesn't walk.  I'm beginning to get a complex about it.  Other parents always ask me how old he is and because he isn't walking I'm sometimes tempted to say he's younger than he is because I don't want to deal with all the "why isn't he walking?" questions.
Sigh.
He has to walk soon right?
He is excelling in every other aspect of his development.  He talks in sentences, he memorizes letter sounds (B says Buh is his favorite), he dumps, he fills, he throws toddler tantrums...he does not walk.  I will put my faith in his Doctor who is not worried at all......I hope he walks before he's 2.

Erik is entering into full blown toddler drama.  Yesterday I thought he had a fever and couldn't find the temporal thermometer so had to go in the bottom.  He was so unhappy at this that he screamed and then held his breath!!  Held his breath! He's never done that before, and he held his breath for so long that he popped a bunch of blood vessels on both sides of his face!  Seriously, this kid could be a handful.  I guess if he tries it when he's a teenager I'll remind him if what happens to his face when he gets angry and maybe he won't get so upset.

But beyond the tantrums, and uncanny ability to wake up at exactly 6:15am EVERYDAY no matter what time we put him to bed, he is the joy of our lives.

I've been doing everything I can think of to help build the muscles in Erik's legs.  Yoga ball, Gymboree and our newest endeavor.....Swimming Lessons! Erik loves them, he cries when he leave.  Here's a little video of his second class.  Please ignore the big lady in the purple suit.  Because I was in the pool my only option for video was my mother, the lady who does not have e-mail and needs to write down the directions for her TV remote, so please bear with the shaky, blurry and pictures of the floor that happen when my mother is in charge of the video.

He also LOVES to be surprised.......especially by things that pop up.

I hope that next month at this time I can report that Erik is walking....or even pulling up would be great!