Well...Sadly I must report that my progesterone levels are falling. They have gone from 17 to 12.5 which isn't good. I don't know what my pregnancy hormones are doing because it's Sunday are for some crazy reason Kaiser e-mails me the progesterone results but nothing else. Declining test results are typically the first signs of an impending miscarriage.
I'm sad, and disappointed. I really wanted to see those levels rise so it would give me hope for a viable pregnancy. No one should have to go through more than one miscarriage in their life. It makes you feel like such a failure at something women have been doing with no problem for years. It just isn't fair to see teenagers and crack whores getting babies with no trouble, but those of us who do everything we can to have one just can't seem to grasp it. It feels like a punishment from God, teasing me with a pregnancy and then yanking it away.
I will never be able to feel the joy of any future pregnancy's because I will forever be on edge waiting for something bad to happen.
I'm so sorry to have to tell you all this, we were so excited to finally be pregnant again. We won't stop trying, we are going to do the "injectible" IUI as soon as we can start trying again. Unfortunately that one cost's about 1500.00 per cycle so we can only do it once a year. But we will try it and pray it works.
Thank you for all your support, prayers and hugs. We appreciate them.
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5 comments:
I'm so sorry honey.....but who knows maybe a miracle....who knows what happens next docter visit....
is still early...love and support from overseas
Vera
Thank you Vera, a miracle is exactly what we need right now. Thanks for all your love and support. We feel it!
Becky, I'm sending you all my thoughts in hopes that little baby is still in there. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. I remember after my miscarriage my midwife said to me that the spirit of the baby I lost is still with me and will watch over the baby that will come in the future. And I held on to the belief that the baby I lost would help another little one find his or her way into this world and two months later I was pregnant again. I know it is hard but don't lose hope or the trust in your body to grow a baby.
On a side note, have you tried acupuncture? I have many friends who have struggled with fertility and were able to get pregnant fairly quickly after several treatments. It might be something you can try while waiting to try IUI again. Of course, I don't know all the details of your quest toward parenthood but just thought I'd suggest as your body is ripe for a baby right now and even though this baby may not come into fruition your body knows the sensations and maybe some eastern medicine can help.
I know you have a lot of support but if you need anything please reach out to me, I'd love to help any way I can.
Thanks Kathy, I actually checked out an acupuncture place here in San Jose there is one that just does fertility acupuncture and they seemed really really nice, however they want me to come twice a week for sessions at 100.00 each. That's 800.00 a month that insurance won't pay. Dang, anyone want to stick me with needles for free? ;)
Yikes...who knew! You'd think alternative medicine would be cheeper...
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