Thoughts

I haven't posted for a while because I have been feeling less then positive about this pregnancy. Mike is trying to keep me positive but things just haven't been reassuring enough for me to feel like things are really going well.
Last week I was spotting so I went to the Dr. who gave me the 50/50 speech "50% of pregnancy's end and 50% don't, there is nothing I can do". For a pregnant woman, with already 2 miscarriages in my belt that's not really what I needed to hear. He did an ultrasound and could find nothing, not even a sac, but then told me "don't worry my machine isn't very good". WHAT?? So I wonder, did I already lose it? Or was it just the machine? I just don't know what to do with my brain at this point - it is freaking out, and as much as I know there is nothing I can do about it - that doesn't make it feel any better, or make me stop freaking out.

I feel like I'm losing my symptoms, my boobs were sore, and now I think they aren't - or are they sore because I'm constantly tugging at them? Am I making them sore or are they sore because of hormones, I just don't know!
What I do know is that there is nothing we would like more that a healthy child so we are praying every chance we get that things will turn out fine. We have another ultrasound on Tuesday and right now I am off for blood work to make sure hormone levels are still doubling as they should be.
I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July, I spent it pulling weeds in the yard.
I'll keep you posted as to what is happening. Good thoughts and prayers for a healthy pregnancy are very much appreciated!
Love,
Becky