Letters

Since Erik was really little he has liked numbers and letters. It's not something we've emphasized, but we tend to buy "educational" toys that have letters and numbers on them.  He has taught himself these letters, and now he is working on the sounds the letters make....because he likes it.  Of course we think it's adorable, but I promise we are not quizzing him.  He quizzes himself all day and LOVES it!
I wonder if the energy focused on his letters, is draining the ability of his legs to walk.  He's still not walking.  I know, I've talked to the Dr....she thinks he's just slow and will be fine.  We'll see - maybe the swim lessons will help, or gymboree, or me playing stand up games for 3 hours every night until he's crawling in the other direction because he just doesn't want me to stand him up anymore.

Disneyland.........and the flu

     Last week we took a long anticipated trip to Disneyland.  It was the first time we were going to get to spend a few days and not have to cram everything into one day and then drive home.  We were so excited!  And then we all got sick.

     It started with Erik, and then me.  By the time we left on the plane Thursday evening I figured I could force myself to feel better and Erik was on the backside of things.....so we thought.

     As soon as we got into the air (after much happy excitement on Erik's part!), Erik vomited.....everywhere.  Down my shirt, into my shoes, all over the side of the plane and into the vent.  That awful curdled milk vomit from babies....the kind that REEKS!!  Did I say it went into the vent?  Yup!  People were thrilled, I could hear muffled gagging from all around us, never was a planeful of people more excited to land!

     As I squished in my vomit filled shoes through the John Wayne airport to baggage claim I imagined all the other parents who've lived through the same thing.  It really sucked, and it continued to suck as I pulled vomit cheese out of my bag, wallet and laptop for the next several days.

     Once we arrived at Disneyland (well at the Hotel near Disneyland) Erik perked up, and Nana and Daddy perked down!!  But we forged forward for Erik to make his trip as fun as possible and while we spent more hours a day in the hotel room (bathroom) than we did actually in the park...we still had an OK trip!




Erik's first Dumbo ride, even Nana got on!



 Erik really didn't have a problem with the characters, except for Balu.....he wasn't thrilled with this one.

 

Loved that the rooms came with cribs.....even though they were very "jail - like", and super squeaky!

The most loved "Mic-Mouse!"

It's pretty sunny at Disneyland, these don't work so well when you peek over the tops.

Erik and Nana waiting in line

The one character he loved...he waved her over, and blew her kisses...nothing like Princess Aurora to make your day!

What me tired??  Nah, let's hit the Tiki Room again!

Erik had a wonderful time!!

18 months old

Today marks 18 months for Erik.  It's gone too far now, he must stop growing immediately.  I took all these pictures today, because he no longer looks like a baby (WAH!), he looks like a full fledged toddler.....who is counting the days to see "Mic Mouse!" We are heading to Disneyland on Thursday evening and he is very excited about it!   Today he ate with a fork for the first time.

 See how big he is?  He could be 3 or 5!!  Heaven help me.....how will I ever allow this child to leave my side?

 This is the face he makes when something is "scary"....like a monster on Sesame Street which is what he was watching when I took this picture.

 And this is his beautiful sleeping face!  He is still obsessed with hair.  Notice one hand on his, and one in mine.

An angel turned one and a half today. I have to go now, and take a big sniff of his head while he's still too young to know I do that.

The "F" word

FAT....probably not what you were thinking right? 

I've been thinking so much about FAT lately and how it feels to be part of that label. 

Yesterday I took Erik to the mall to visit Mike and since it was his dinner time I set him up at the table (the kind with the swivel chairs that are attached) with the fruit and veggies I had brought for him from home.  It didn't dawn on me that I might not fit in the chair.  I barely fit, I had to STUFF myself in, and sit there while my beautiful son finished his dinner and I tried to hide behind the diaper bag.  I prayed I wouldn't get stuck getting out.  Humiliating.

It really got to me today when a friend of mine, after going to the Dr. about a rash this morning, was made to feel so bad about her weight that she left this simple Dr.'s appointment in tears.  The Dr. gave her the usual "fat" lecture, but this time also felt it necessary to add in a math equation (how many calories make a pound) and the comment "I would really like you to lose some weight in my lifetime".

I was humiliated for her. I blinked back tears for her.  I have lived that.  I've lived Dr's telling me that I would never have a baby because I was fat, that if I did become pregnant I would immediately have gestational diabetes, and continue on to be a diabetic afterward, and that my blood pressure would be sky high through my entire pregnancy and they would have to induce me early. All because of FAT. 

None of those things ever happened.  But Doctors assured me they would, I kept waiting for it, THEY kept waiting for it.  It was humiliating to listen to the lectures about it, with my head down while they made me feel guilty for the hell I was putting my baby through.

Sometimes Dr's suck.

As a FAT girl I would like to raise my hand and say;

• I am not lazy, sitting at home eating Bon Bon's all huge dinners all night, I walk almost everyday, and I cook sensible dinners for myself and my family.  I do enjoy food, and I love to cook.  I am not living on salad, but I am certainly not a professional eater.  Do not assume that you know how I eat.
• Do not look in my shopping cart and then look at me and smile (if you approve of what's in my cart) or shake your head (if you don't).  You don't know that I may be shopping for my family, or I may be at Costco shopping for 30 preschoolers, which requires 6 gallons of milk a week!
• Do not tell me my child will be fat because I am.  My child is exactly the weight he should be.  I feed him only organic, healthy options.
• Do not treat me as invisible, I am here. LOOK at me!  I am not sloppy, I dress nicely, I fix my hair and wear make-up most days.  I am fat, as you are thin, tall, short...whatever!

I don't want to be FAT.  If I could have 3 magic wishes right now they would all include some type of way to make me thin.  I have wanted to be thin everyday of my FAT life (something happened at about 11 and I got fat). I don't need a lecture from a Dr.  Do they really think I'm not aware that I'm fat?  Don't they think I've tried every crappy diet that has ever come along??  I appreciate your concern Dr. and when I come to you with joint pain, or a heart condition that is a result of my weight then your lecture is warranted, but if I just need you to look at my sinus infection, spare me the FAT lecture.....PLEASE!  It only humiliates me more and makes me vow to search Kaiser's website for the fattest Dr I can find and immediately switch to them!

Being a FAT girl I have lived up to all the stereotypes.  I'm the funny one, the outgoing one, the one with the great personality.  It doesn't change that I am FAT and I hate it, but it will not make my life hell.  I will still life my very best life, and the FAT kind of tags along.

To all my FAT friends -

• You are gorgeous, no matter what
• Keep up those winning, funny personalities - you are what makes the world go round (and makes all the skinny girls jealous of something!)
• You will find someone to love you.  I promise.  There are men out there who can look into your heart and not how much you weigh, I've dated them.  I married an amazing one, he is a saint about my weight and he is who I lean on when I'm having bad FAT days.
• Be healthy, that's all that matters.  If you eat healthy, move a little each day, and love people you will have a wonderful life

To those who embrace people no matter if they don't fit the mold - God bless you.  To those who feel that FAT people are lazy and should know how to eat better and be thin...spend a little time with a FAT person, I bet you'd change your mind pretty quickly.