The end of 2012

I was much better at blogging before there was a demanding 3 year old taking over my life with his whiny, poopy cuteness.  I apologize for the lack of activity, but I'll catch you up!

Weight Loss - Still losing, but it's slowed down a bit, which is to be expected. My hair has finally stopped falling out.  Hopefully it will now begin to grow back.  The pieces that have grown back are grey.....they are not welcome here.  I'm down almost 100 pounds, I'm about 2 pounds away now.  I'm scared to death I will gain the weight back.  It's a battle every day to remind myself to make good choices and to exercise.  I hate exercising, that feeling hasn't changed at even 100 pounds thinner.  Are there people who enjoy exercising?  In all honesty I'd prefer to sit in my pajamas and look at Pinterest.  I love the way I feel after exercising - but I really struggle to motivate myself to do it.  The other day I walked with my co-workers over 5 miles....5 miles!!  My toenails have now revolted and one is threatening to fall off if I ever do it again.

This picture was taken on Friday night - I think it shows how much weight I've lost.  Mike's shrinking as well because he's stuck not eating all the things I used to cook so it's a win win!

 

 

 

Now let me go back to October and the last blog post.  We dressed up for Halloween as Jesse, Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story.  I have to say that Mike was a great spot wearing his Woody costume, and wearing it in public at the school Halloween Carnival!

 

 

Erik's been working really hard on potty training.  Well....not really.  Mommy's been working really hard on potty training and Erik sits and makes noises and occasionally if we are lucky he will (in his own words) "pop out a yittle nugget!"

We started a potty chart last week hoping to help the situation.  He gets a gold star if he sits down, and a fancy sticker of his choice for actually producing something.  There are LOTS of gold stars, not so many of the other stickers.  We just went and bought lots of cool underwear that he is now wearing over his diapers.....hopefully he'll be inspired.  He's in the last size of diapers, and even those are hard to find.  There are no more choices - must be potty trained!

 Erik has also started school at the elementary next to our house.  He goes a couple times a week and receives PT, OT and Social skills. He loves it!  He cried the first few days because it was hard to say goodbye - but he's really enjoying it now.  He especially loves the PT named Coach Tom who takes him to the cafeteria to play Basketball.  There are only 5 children in the class and 2 teachers. I had to fight for this placement for a year, and I finally won.  The school district really shouldn't go up against Mommas who know what their children are entitled to.  They denied him services the first time but I kept fighting and voila he now has services for a year!  He still goes to my school as well, I wanted him to keep that routine as well as the exposure to typically developing children.  He's doing great at both places!  Well, except for the eating.  He won't eat or drink at either place.  Funny, he eats and drinks with no problem at home, and I've never seen a child who enjoys a restaurant more than Erik, but for some reason he won't eat at school.
   Back in the fall we took a trip to the beach house to visit my family.  Erik loves his Papa and Mimi so much!  It's so nice that they were able to come here and we were able to go and spend time with them.  Erik loved just letting it all hang out!

We had great fun on a boat ride with a friend and Erik really loved being on the boat.

My three boys - My Daddy, My Son and My Hubby.  Love this picture (if only they weren't all squinting)

Christmas blew in and this year was the first year that Erik's really "gotton" the whole concept and he didn't want to miss any part of it!  He learned about Hanukkah from Sesame Street and insisted that we have a Menorah!  Thanks to my good friend BC who gave him one they'd had in their family for years.  We lit the candles and Erik said his own little prayers after skyping with friends who celebrate and watching them light their candles.  Technology is amazing!

We of course had our own tree which Erik would not leave alone.  I told him a hundred times a day to "look with your eyes not your hands" until anytime he was close to the tree he would yell "YOOK WIF MY EYES!"  He sure got as close as he could with just those eyes!

I finally had to give him his own Christmas tree.  No laughing at it - I'm not a seamstress, nor can I draw and cut Christmas trees.  This just had Velcro and little material ornaments.  I imagined him decorating and redecorating and leaving my tree alone.  It was a great idea I got from Pinterest.  He would walk by it - tear all the ornaments off and then use them as "winter airplanes" and I spent the whole month putting the ornaments on. Pinterest fail.

In December we were lucky enough to go back to the beach and spend some time with my college roommates.  There is nothing like friends you've known for twenty years. I love these girls so much and I so rarely get to see them - but when I do it feels like no time at all has passed between us.  Love that two of them have children almost the same age as Erik.  We had a blast - and I think the kids did too!  While we were there we took Erik to his first movie.  Monsters Inc.  He loved the popcorn, and the previews, and about 10 minutes of the movie.  Sigh - wasted 25 bucks!

We should have just stayed where the weather was gorgeous on the beach!

Happiness!

Thank you Jaci for loving Erik - He loves you too....in an aloof boy kind of way.

Good girlfriends are there no matter how many miles and years come between you!

 

 Now we are into the real year and all the fun and vacationing of the holidays has to end.  I still try to plan one fun little thing for Erik to do each weekend.  Last weekend we went to see some friends goats since they had lots of babies.  Erik loved it and has talked nonstop about it since.  He asks when we can get goats, and chickens.

 Sigh - I don't do animals, especially the outside kind.  I told him when he's 13 he can have an animal because you have to have "teen" in your age or it's against the law.  I also told him Disneyland was closed for Christmas because he really wanted to go - but I couldn't deal with the Christmas crowd.  I know, I'm going to hell for lying to my child.  Don't judge - I think many of you will be there with me.  I've heard you tell your children lies too.  Maybe the lies of parenting don't count.

Mike's goal for 2013 is a garden.  My goal for 2013 is not to kill him when I end up doing all the work on "his" garden.  We'll see who wins.  Erik has his seeds all picked out.  It's going to be a LONG wait for the warm weather!

  My goal is also to enjoy every second of the crazy kid.  Even when he insists on dressing like Peter Pan to go to the store, or visit Grandpa.  Please note that my child does not have the usual Peter Pan pocket knife in his carrier - but he does have the crocodile that wants to eat Captain Hook.

Happy 2013!

Oh...and I hope to do better about blogging!

Long time, no write!

It's been a long time since I wrote so I guess this will be a long one!  My weight loss is slow but steady and I'm grateful for that. Mike says I'm about 20 pounds from being HIS weight!!  Wow...to weigh less than my husband.  My mind would be blown.
I'm going through my clothes like crazy - today two more bags went to Goodwill.......I can't really replenish with the current size, because then I'll need a smaller size - so I'm slowly buying smaller things to get into. Isn't it funny I used to buy things a bit small and think "I'll lose 5 pounds and get into that"..HA HA HA!! Well, I can wear all those clothes now! 
Here's the pros I've noticed this month -
    -My whole arm now fits comfortably in those drugstore blood pressure machines.
    - I can sit next to Erik on the kiddie roller coaster.
    -I'm no longer worried I'm going to break a fold-up chair in a staff meeting. (It's happened....and it's HORRIBLE)
    -Disneyland was hot as hell two weeks ago - but I imagine it would have been unbearable 80 pounds heavier.
    -I put on a belt yesterday to hold my pants up (the one and only belt I own) and I had to put it on the last hole AND I wore it all day and it was comfortable - who knew belts weren't horrible torture devices designed to cut me in half when I sat down? They sure were before!

And here's the cons
     - My pants won't stay up - and this makes it hard to get through the day.
     - The vitamins are HORRIBLE, even though I found some bearable ones....it's still all I can do to get them down.
     -My hair is still falling out like crazy.  I used to have REALLY thick hair, I could only get a rubber band around it twice...now I can get it around FOUR times.  I've lost half my hair.  I have to really hope that it stops falling out soon....sigh.

We had a great end to summer with a trip to the beach house to visit my family and that awesome great grandma of mine.  Erik spent lots of time with his older girl cousins flirting and being his charming self.  He had lots of attention!  There was some pseudo surf lessons, wave jumping and walks on the beach.

 We are looking forward to heading down again next week to hang out with my Dad. Erik is thrilled to spend some time with his Papa and Mimi. Mike looks like this at the beach house.

We also hit Disneyland again (I know....we have passes so it's easy), Erik finds something new he loves each time.   This time it was 105 both days we were there.....it wasn't great, but it was still Disneyland. On the way home on I-5 in that 105 heat the air conditioner on the car went out, and Erik threw up.  That's one trip home we'll never forget.
 We typically let Erik pick ONE toy each Disneyland visit.   He's into Lego's lately and it took him a long time at the Lego store but he kept going back to this Cinderella Lego set.  He loves it.  Mike could live without the pink Lego's, but I love that he chose it.

 

 

Erik's been very chatty lately, and silly.  He's working hard on running - but we still don't have it yet.  This week he has an appointment with Kaiser OT and the school district OT.  The school district Speech and Language therapist was here this week and decided maybe she could get him in for reciprocal language - but there's no way he'll get services based on his 8 year old (!) vocabulary.  Hopefully he will also qualify for OT via the school district.  Here's a recent video of Erik acting like he does every night.  Hope every one's doing well!

 

 

3rd Month Post Op

I'm now just 3 months out from surgery.  I just had my 3 month check up and aside from some very low blood pressure (99/44) all is well! I'm down 42 pounds! Yay! I'm just starting to feel like I'm thinner.  I even ventured out in an off the shoulder number for the first time ever.

Well, mostly all is well.  My hair is falling out by the handfuls.  It fell out when I had my C section - but not this bad.  I asked the Dr. why and his answer - "There are 2 things that cause rapid hair loss, major surgery and rapid weight loss" well, there you go.  I have been assured that it should start to grow back in about 6 months.  You know what other interesting thing I learned was a side effect from rapid weight loss? Pregnancy!! Who knew?  Seems like fat girls all over the world struggle with the hormone issues that  make you get pregnant ( yes I'll raise my hand here), and when you lose enough weight somehow it kicks your fertility not only back into line but back into CRAZY fertility.  They warned and warned us about it.  Interesting.
I'm struggling a bit with vitamins - I can't keep them down.  With food, without food they are awful.  So I have to figure that piece out.  The food is not an issue at all - I seem to be fine with most things (except bread, rice and pasta).  My brain is an issue.  My brain is still fat and still tells me all day long..."have a snack!, eat that!, go to the drive thru!" I'm working on combating my brain right now.  It's become my biggest challenge, to tell my brain (and eyeballs) to SHUT UP! 
My only other issue is my ass, it's killing me.  I thought it was from all the times I have landed on it in my clumsy life and broken the tailbone.  It hurts so bad to sit down!   I was thrilled to hear someone else say (in my weight loss group) that their ass hurt too!  We learned that it was because we have been sitting on our FAT asses for so long that now that we have lost weight so quickly we are now sitting on our tailbones and they have been cushioned for so long that now they are sore and we have to slowly "break them in". 
I'm breaking mine in like this because I just can't take the pain anymore.  Thanks goodness I didn't get rid of the boppy!  It works like a charm!

...and he's 3

Erik is 3.  That went by SO fast! It feels like he was just born yesterday, well except for all those sleepless nights when he was born, oh....and all the diapers, and .... well I guess it has been three years, but they still went by fast!!

This is what I've learned about Erik.
    He loves Toy Story and Monster's Inc - especially Buzz Lightyear!
    He listens to everything I say to spout it back at me at the most inappropriate times
    He's loud - really really loud. But he hates loud things....interesting.
    He memorizes things very quickly - again, to spout them out loudly and inappropriate times
    He's super happy - most of the time
    He's learned to whine......ugh
   He's super funny - all the time!
    He's a morning person - no matter what time I put him to bed he's up at 6:00am, so he goes to bed at 7.  If I can't have my mornings I'm definitely taking the evenings!
   He's a super snugly boy
   I'm more in love with him today than I was yesterday.

He HATES the Happy Birthday song, But he does like chocolate cake...he wanted a "chocolate rainbow cake" so this is what I came up with.

He also enjoyed all his little gifts..

 So for his party we went very low key, no big party - but we did go to the fair, which was his choice. The cowboy hat was his father's choice ?!?!

He loves animals so off to the fair we went in search of farm animals. We found plenty!!  Erik walked through that barn like he owned the place calling "Hi Pigs!, Hi Sheep-ez!" He was in heaven.  Mike and I were in a stinky barn, but hey...

Here's a little video I made from pictures throughout the year to end the festivities!  The birthday week has officially closed and now we will work on not whining and sitting on the potty instead of yelling at.."Oh! I feel it! Here comes a big poop!!".........one of those inappropriate items I mentioned earlier.

43

I turned 43 today. I find it weird that I'm even in my forties, let alone 43!!  In my head I'm about 28, and that's about where I stay.  It freaks me out a bit when I'm hanging out with 20 somethings and I'm thinking...."OMG, I'm OLD!"
Had a great day hanging out in San Francisco with a great friend and Erik!

We had a lovely time and just goofed around!

I can't be 43....................I have an almost 3 year old.  I'm 43.
43???  Yes 43!
SIGH

Fun in the Sun

My sister and her family came to visit for 10 days last week and we had a fantastic time goofing around California.
Top ten list of things we did -
10. Visited Fisherman's Wharf where it was it's usual freezing, wind - blowing spectacular self.

9. Went to Henry Cowell State Park and walked around the redwood trees (which is really quite challenging with a 2 year old who doesn't walk well and an almost 2 year old who runs circles!) The 0.8 mile walk was very beautiful, and very long.

8. We went to the beach where we saw people swimming in burkas - I wish I had a picture (but that's disrespectful right?  I really really wanted to take one).
7. On our way to the beach we came to a light next to this in Santa Cruz.  As she passed one of her "Dominatrix for Dummies" cards into the car and invited us to the show I heard my brother in law say..."I love California". 

6. Cousins getting to know each other is awesome - and sometimes very very loud.  Getting to know you in 2 year old language is often filled with tears. But look at them, seriously, twins born a year apart.

5. Getting to hang out with my awesome 99 year old Grandma and listen to her stories about the "olden days" and how she's going to "snoopervise" my Uncle in her garden.  I love her made up words.

4. Visiting Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth really makes me happy.....It made me so happy this time that we are annual pass holders now....WOO HOO!

3. My child getting to know his Uncle Gregg and loving him so much that he has to hold his hand at all times, even through meals.....awesome

2. Getting to hang out with my niece and nephew and making some awesome memories.

1. This is my take away memory from my whole trip.....too bad there is no picture.
As we stopped for lunch in the quaint little town of Solvang we chose a sweet little Danish restaurant for some Abel skivers.  Halfway through our meal Erik vomited all over the table.  Which, is mortifying enough.  However, that was not enough for the Universe to give me.  When I pulled him out of the booster I realized there was runny poop EVERYWHERE.  It was going down both legs, (he had on shorts) and into his socks and shoes.  We couldn't carry him to bathroom since then WE would be covered with poop.  We had to get him to walk (while he was screaming) and try not to call too much attention to ourselves.  Well, as he walked poop fell in little cow pies behind him with every step.  Which caused a waitress to run after me and hand me a rag to wipe up the piles.  We then took over the woman's bathroom for operation clean up.  Woman were surprised to walk in and see Mike wrangling a poop covered child.........ah, the life of parents.
All in all it was a super fun trip and so very nice to have my sister and her family here.   Wish we lived closer so we could all hang out more. 

Now, onto diet progress.  I'm down 30 pounds in 6 weeks. I should be, because I barely eat anything.  Disneyland on a diet was a challenge, and I can imagine it would be a HUGE challenge to someone just dieting but not actually forced into how much to eat based on their stomach.  I carried a lot of my food in, and shared lots of bites with my mom and Mike. Ive' learned to look for high protein appetizers and just order those. At least I'm not thinking about eating, that would make it REALLY hard. I took little steals of my sister's Diet Dr. Pepper while she was here, then I got brave and poured myself one........I took 4 sips and was over it. 
It's tough to get all the vitamins down, the food doesn't make me sick, but the vitamins do - terribly.  I hate them, but if I don't take them my hair falls out.
I'm starting to fit into the "skinny" clothes in my closet - awesome.  I now weigh less than I did when I got married. Double awesome!
I live on chicken - so please send your chicken recipes!
I dreamed last night that I was SQUATTING down to talk to a child.  Like knees bent, and not out of breath or in pain!  I hope to be there soon. 
Oh, and I didn't have any anxiety about the rides at Disneyland because I knew I was thinner than the last time I was there!
The children at school don't have any idea about my surgery but I don't hide it.  Here's the conversation I had with a 3 year old yesterday.

Child: Teacher Becky how come you're not eating bread?

                             Me: Because I had special work done on my tummy and now I can't eat bread.
Child: Is the specialness your Uterus?

Me: (????????????????????) Um, no something else in my tummy.

Child: Oh, my mom told me "uteruseses" are special, I hope you have a special Uterus.

 My special stomach and uterus hope you are all doing well! And really people, chicken recipes, please.

Life

Life's been throwing us some curve balls lately, but we are determined to throw them back!
The good news is I've been doing mostly great at my diet, except I tried to eat a sandwich (ok really it was an Egg Mcmuffin minus the meat) the other day and it came back up before it had been down ten minutes. Not ready for bread yet!!! It's o hard to break those old habits. I want a Diet Coke so bad I'm dreaming about them, but I haven't had one. Rumor is it hurts REAL bad going down.
I'm down close to 25 pounds. I find myself comparing weights to life events.
" that's what I weighed the day I got pregnant"
" that's what I weighed the day I got married"......I'm waiting to say "now I weigh what my drivers license says I do!"
In other news Erik's been through evaluation after evaluation to give him a diagnosis beyond " low muscle tone". He's has assessments from the Regional Center, as well as the school district that are very clear that he has gross motor delays but nothing cognitive or social. Kaiser on the other hand is convinced that he's very high functioning, yet on the spectrum. I disagree- am I allowed to disagree with Dr's who are assessing him on a couple hours in a clinic, and he's excited and showing off? Or do I go on the assessments of the PT and OT who've been working with him or months?
I refuse to give him a label. So I'm not going to. I'm going to wipe up the tears I shed after that appointment today, put on my big girl panties and give him the support he needs to not only function but to thrive and excel in his life. He's the same little boy today that he was yesterday before any "expert" got his hands on him, so I will continue to treat him the same.
He's my sweet little boy who likes to help Daddy wash the car......we'll take it all, every hard, joyful, tearful day, because we are better for having Erik in our lives.

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Location:Doris Ave,San Jose,United States