23 Months

I wish I could tell you he's walking. Nope...... But he does talk like crazy. Tonight in Office Depot he announced, "I love my penis and balls!". Such a proud parenting moment for me.
Here's a little look at what he's up to lately.

The beginning of the process

     Today I went to the first of many appointments for the Lap Band Procedure.  It was a 5 hour appointment where we were given a BINDER with all the information we need to know before the surgery.  It was a lot of stuff!
     I was not prepared to feel so...loved and accepted.  Seriously, Doctor's and anything related to them are no fun when you're fat. I have been shamed, put down and humiliated over and over again, and I begin to prepare myself for that for each appointment I go to.  I was pleasantly surprised to be told that being overweight is not because I am lazy, or stupid or overeating constantly.  That it is a combination of my life, my mind, my genes, and my childhood (this seems to be the big one for everyone).  It was amazing to be one of the thinnest people in the room, that NEVER happens to me. I felt pretty!  It was nice to be catered to for once, to be treated like a person, not an annoyance.....to be treated like I deserved help from the doctors.  I love Kaiser......really I do, I have always been pleased with them, but today...to treat me (and all the others in the room) with so much dignity and respect, I am thrilled with them.
     I have broken a chair or two in my day (talk about humiliating - nothing worse), and to walk in and see this in a classroom where I always wonder if the folding chair is going to hold me, was refreshing.

Kaiser obviously owns these.......now to be completely inclusive, sprinkling them around all the offices, labs, waiting areas, would be awesome!

Here's the cliff's notes from my orientation today.
What I gain - My health, longer life, ability to do activities I can't now, shopping "off the rack" , increased fertility (we may be too late on the age front for this one, but hey...it's there).
What I have to do/give up.....FOREVER

•      Chew each bite 30 times
• no more drinking ANYTHING with a meal
• No more carbonated drinks (this will be the hardest for me)
• No caffeine - ACK!
• No alcohol (no problem!)
• And none of these foods.....again.
• Bagels, Biscuits, Bread
• Cereal - cold or hot
• Crackers (Saltines and Triscuts OK)
• Doughnuts (Just writing this makes me REALLY want one!)
• English Muffins (I eat one of these everyday for breakfast)
• French Toast
• Grits....ugh - no problem
• Muffins
• Pasta
• Oatmeal
• Pancakes
• Processed Snack Food
• Pastry
• Pita Bread
• Pretzels
• Rice
• Rice Cakes
• Rolls
• Stuffing
• Tortilla's
• Waffles
• Coconut
• Corn / Peas
• Gum
• Nuts/seeds
• Popcorn
• Cakes
• Candy
• Ice Cream
• Cookies
• Spicy Food
• Pizza

So I think that leaves chicken, fish and vegetables....I'll sure be fun to take to a restaurant!
Wow - and I need to start eliminating all these things yesterday.  My dear Mexican food, I will miss you so! Oh and Italian, you too!
I begin the journey today.  I'll never wear a bikini - but hopefully, a pair of jeans with a shirt tucked IN, is in my near future.
God help me.

Not No, but HELL NO!

My sweet baby, my adorable child has left the premises and been replaced with a tantrum throwing, NO! screaming brat!

Overnight, last night to be exact, he changed.  For the first time today he told me NO! With defiance in his eyes, and I swear if he could stand up on his own he would have stomped a foot for dramatic effect. It all started with a hat.  The hat in this picture to be exact. 

We went to the zoo, it was hot and sunny.  I made him wear the hat.  It's a lovely hat, but he hates all hats.....which would be fine if his skin wasn't translucent white, but this white boy must wear a hat at all times outside.  He took it off, I put it on, he took it off, I began to see the pattern and quickly did the teacher thing.  I got down on his level, told him in a firm (yet loving!) voice. "The sun is out, it will burn your skin without a hat, you must wear the hat". I put it back on his head, he looked at me angrily, yanked the hat off and yelled NO! And then he waited to see what I would do.  In my head I knew this was the moment my baby was gone.  He has now figured out the meaning, and power of the word NO! and there will be no more baby for me.  It was also the defining moment that I would make or break how he responded to future discipline.

I responded with "your choice is to wear the hat and see the animals, or not wear the hat and go home".  I then put the hat on him again, he threw it again and I said. "It looks like you're choosing to go home".  So we left (luckily we have passes and that's easy to do - not so easy at an expensive place), and I listened to a crying child wail "See yitto yams, see yitto yams!" (See little lambs!) all the way out.

As we head to the car the Mommy in me says Hey, now we can do the grocery shopping!, the teacher on the other shoulder says....don't push it, bad idea!  The Wal-Mart across the street and the mommy win!

Everything went well until Erik realized there is no tank with crabs and lobsters at Wal-Mart (we don't have many Wal-Marts here so most of our grocery stores DO have fish tanks) and he LOST it.  Yelling "Tabs Tabs!! and signing Crabs as fast as his little fingers could.

What could I do?  Seriously he was SCREAMING his head off.  I tried singing, I tried goldfish, cheese sticks, apple juice...everything in my cart was open and he was having none of it.  I was the lady in the store with the screaming child.  And I just had to let him scream. It was hell, toddler hell - I have now stepped into it's doors.

Yesterday he didn't have any tantrums, today he had 4. I will embrace the learning that is toddler hood, ignore the tantrums, and shop alone with all the other toddler mothers at nap time, and late night.

I'm gonna slap you

Today in Costco a woman judged me by what was in my cart.  She looked at me, the food in my cart, and called me fat.  In the check-out line, in front of everyone.
Seriously?  Did she really???
Yup.
I felt exactly like I did all those times in school when people made fun of me for being fat.  Funny how I defaulted right back into that!
As an adult I am always shocked by the nerve of some people.  But what could I do?  I couldn't bitch slap her in the middle of Costco, even though I REALLY wanted to. Like I've ever slapped ANYONE, I would have no idea how to begin that, but if there was ever someone I'd like to take outside, it was this lady.
But seriously lady, how did you get past security? 

Which is kind of a good segue into my next topic.   I'm getting the lap band.....I know, I know.  But seriously, I've tried every diet. I long to be thinner, I want to get on the floor with my child and hang out and I want to swing him in my lap at the park and fit in the swing. I was telling a friend the other night, I want to wear a bathing suit, that doesn't come with the old lady tummy hiding ruffle/skirt.  I want to buy something off the rack at Old Navy....it's the little things.

So, I've had one orientation, several more to go and then I get to meet the surgeon.  Should be an interesting journey, and I'll keep you informed all along the way.  And maybe, if karma loves me, I'll run into rude lady some day again, and have a little chat with her....outside.

Dad's Day

It's hard for me to be away from my family on special day's like today.  While I'm thankful that Erik has a set of grandparents close, it breaks my heart that my family is missing out on seeing him grow because we are far away..sigh.
So, we do what all good citizens of this century do, we blog about his accomplishments, skype with far away relatives, and send little video snippets of his life as often as we can.  As nice as that is, it still isn't the same as being there.
I missed my Daddy today. 
We chatted via phone, but I missed his big hugs.  However, I am glad that Erik was able to spend the day with his Daddy and Grandpa, in a low key hang out and play kind of way.

They played with toys....look at that 92 year old man on the floor digging for cars!

They took turns reading books, and giving instructions about reading books.

But most of all they hugged - Big three generation at a time, backward, grandpa initiated hugs

I hope you hugged a Dad today!

Sliding 101

Step One - Get your Mama to lift you onto the slide. Ignore her when she tells you to hang on.

Step Two - Flap your arms with excitement all the way down!!!

Step Three - Completely understand the joy that is sliding.....and then do it over and over and over some more.



22 Months

Erik is 22 months old today.........I know what your thinking, is he walking??  NO!!!  Seriously, why won't this kid walk?  There is a piece of me that's concerned, and another piece that sees the progress (he's cruising and walking holding onto furniture) he's made and knows.. (I know in my child development loving soul!) that he is fine...he's just a really really late walker.

I'm telling myself it's because he's working on his cognitive skills....which are seriously freaking me out.  Tonight I was giving him a bath and he starting telling me what the letters stand for.  I grabbed the camera, I had no idea he knew that stuff!  You would think I was using flashcards, or that damn..."Your baby can read!" program. I'm SO far from that...we read books LOTS and LOTS of books.  And that's it.  How does he figure this stuff out?

See for yourself, oh and please excuse the "penis and balls" section in the middle, his Nana taught him that, we probably don't help by laughing at it when he says it.  It takes a minute to get into and he misses a few letters, but I didn't know he could do that at all!




Being the teacher I am I was adamant that we start a goodnight routine from very early on, it started with two songs and a chat about the day and morphed into 10 songs, a sippy cup and some cuddles in bed, it went from 5 minutes to 20.  SO much for sticking to the routine.  Mike and Erik have a little routine as well, they say goodnight to many pictures in the house each night.  Since Erik's cousins all live in Oklahoma we want him to know them so we keep their pictures up everywhere.  And we say good night to them each night.  This little video shows that routine, it also shows what a huge klutz (Maguire curse) I am, halfway through the video I knock over a lamp....remember that swimming video where I fell during Erik's swim lessons? I obviously can't walk and film at the same time.



This 22 month old is hoot (and heavy as hell...come on Dude, WALK!) once we started our snuggling when I stopped filming he gave lots of kisses, and then patted my belly, laid his head on it and said..."Mama Bubble Belly.....aaahhhh".  
Well, kids are nothing if not honest!
Till next month,  when Erik WILL be walking, if I have to tie strings to his limbs and turn him into a marionette!